30 days tomorrow. Quick thought…..

I want to make tonight short and sweet. I am lonely because I am not fucked up. I just got off the phone with someone who is really important to me and it really helped talking.

Tomorrow is my 30 days of sobriety. How do I feel????

Sober, Angry and Emotional. There has not been many days that have gone by that I have not cried. This sucks. There is some amazing things that have come from this.

 1. The clarity of thought I have had just recently has been amazing.

2. I know the people who love me unconditionally because they have stuck with me: listened to me cry, scream, laugh and complain. They give me the time I need right now to talk so I don’t go crazy even though I feel like I am. The funny thing is crazy is being a DRUNK alcoholic.

3. My body feels different. I am exhausted but not from the alcohol attacking my body.

4. I go to the AA meetings everyday. I have become part of the family and I truly have needed that.

5. My life is in scrambles as it was when I was drinking so much but I am slowly picking up the pieces and if I was drinking I would still be going down hill.

6. For the first time in nearly 7 years I am sober.

Thank you God for keeping me sober today. Please help me make it tomorrow to my 30th day. I am excited to get the 30 day chip. I do feel healing taking place. I can struggle through this. The fourth step is a mind fuck. I know if I get through this step the power of what I am doing and the emotional baggage I am getting out will lead to something profound.

I am thankful for my sponsor. The thing is; she does not babysit me. I have to do this. If I drink I drink, it’s not on her.

I will be honest with you readers throughout this whole process. If I drink, if I decide to go back to AA because I drank or if this is it and I never pick up a drink again, I will continue to write.

God keep me sober tomorrow. Happy 30 day b-day to me. I never thought I would get here and that it would truly mean so much to me.


              Thank you for your support!

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to 30 days tomorrow. Quick thought…..

  1. thrivingsoul says:

    Happy 30 day birthday! An awesome accomplishment!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s