What the hell, my count was off. Today is day 53! Seven more days and it will be 60 days and I get my two month chip.
60 days is bitter-sweet. I am still having ups and downs. When I look in the mirror I try to remember what I looked like 53 days ago…Crazy. I feel like I just stopped yesterday and at the same time I feel like it’s been a fucking year.
My buddy from AA and I were talking about how amazing it is that we are in each others lives. I think I would still be sober if he was not in my life but having a friend, BROTHER, like him is a gift from God.
We were joking about how alcoholics joke. For example: If someone were to ask him how old he was when he lost his virginity his response would be…Are you asking out side of family or?????? I would say….Are you asking forceful as a child without a choice or when I was an adult and could make a choice. We laugh our asses off. We have to. We inventory it, talk about things like that in the meetings, share it with our sponsors and the friends we make along the way; it’s all healing. I guess you’d have to be present for things like that to be funny. Trauma and alcoholism has to eventually lead to some laughter. Don’t get me wrong, yesterday was my Tequila day and I just wanted to die because everything in my body was crying out for liquor. This is the second time since sobriety I have experienced total and utter control that liquor has over me and again realized that I can’t do this, only through God.
God, thank you for a good day at work. I love you.
Thank you for my friends and I pray for all of them, even those who read this who have become my facebook friends.
Thank you for keeping me sober today and I pray you will keep me sober tomorrow. Draw me closer to you. Please, let me feel you as MY FATHER. I need that.
Thank you readers for being with me.
laughter of an alcoholic