This has been an interesting week. I got fired from my job on Thursday. It was bound to happen, the bitches I worked with had been working on getting rid of me for almost a year.
It’s amazing how many people love and support me. My phone was ringing off the hook and my voicemail box and text inbox was full yesterday and today. Thank you God for the love and support you have given me.
Tonight’s topic in AA was about having a spiritual experience. After Sat and the three things that happened that changed my perspective on how I see this disease, where I am and where I have come from and who God is to me now, I have been able to get through these last few days without a drink needed. I had a feeling all week something was going to happen and it did. After last Sat I have told myself over and over again 100 or more times a day, God Your WIll not mine be done…Here I am, Sober, and I believe God will take care of me and I will find another job. I don’t want to drink. Sure the thought crossed my mind yesterday, quite a few times but I cried out to God to remove the yearning for alcohol and He did.
I can do this. I was so unhappy where I was working. Getting fired had nothing to do with my alcoholism, funny huh?
On Wednesday night the meeting was about early sobriety. The whole time old-timers talked about what happened to them. They all had such similar stories. I know I was destined to be at that exact meeting. I don’t normally attend that group but I decided to and I am glad I did. The alcoholics who shared talked about how bad things were. We think that now were sober so things should be going great but it seems to get worse before it gets better. Those who spoke talked about how they lost their jobs, their cars were stolen or got repoed and/or they lost their homes……. They all said the same thing. They knew they had to put their trust in God and not abandon the AA program or they would drink again. I know this is what I have to do and I am doing it.
So many of my AA friends, my sponsor and my friends outside of AA were so worried I was going to drink. Had it been 71 days ago I probably would have killed myself over this. Today I am praying and I am not drinking and I don’t want to kill myself. God is taking care of me. He has brought me this far. He has kept me sober, given me a great sponsor and friends who support me and a wonderful place to live.
I am trying to trust God and trying to not be scared.
God please keep me sober and bless the people who read this blog. Please hold and keep my AA “littler-mates” sober and I pray we continue to support each other and stick together. Please help me find a job. I love you.
Friends, please pray for me. PLEASE! I am praying for you too.