I can’t drink but I still dream about it often….

Today is a pretty good day! I got off work early today so I was able to go to my home group :0) I got to see my people…I miss them so much! I was talking to this cute ol’ man… I will call him Jean (who I call grandpa) and he asked my how my new job is going and I told him I love it. He told me, “you see, you asked and God took care of you.” And he is right. I am so blessed.

I thought about liquor quite a bit today.I wanted to have a good summer night of drinking, smoking cigarettes and sit out on the porch on a 73 degree soft breeze night. I am here writing and not drinking. I can’t drink but I still dream about it often a night. I dream about the next numbered day of sobriety but I end up drinking and don’t make it to the next day because I drink myself to death, purposely. I wake up and feel like I failed but then I realize it was a dream and that I am still sober.

I have been waking up and praying in the mornings; offering my day up to my God. This is very important. I feel the benefits of prayer to start the day. It gives me a sence of calamity. I know praying does not mean all will go well but I am trying to give myself to God.

I am going to go to bed. I am well. Thank you for reading this and keeping up on my continuous defeat against alcohol. God bless you.

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