It’s been a little while since I have written. I am still sober, thank God.
This weekend I called 911 to have my sibling picked up: she was trying to commit suicide. Our past was bad, I blame the problems on that. I know logically speaking there are no excuses for said behavior given adulthood, but damn it I feel so sad. I have been there before, for different reasons. My sibling is hard to be around, emotional up and downs, feeling like a victim all of the time and stuck in depression and anxiety. I have done what I can do to help the situation, now I have to take a step back.
I love my new job. Home sick today, sucks. It is nice to be home through. I have spend he last handfull of night’s at my siblings house taking care the dog. I got out of my routine which was fucking with me, now I can continue with the path I was on and focus on what will keep me sober and healthy.
I am starting to think I am of a different class than I thought I was. I am becoming ok with this new discovery. I’m still trying to discover this part of me…
I have not done my 5th step with my sponsor, she seems to be in her own world. It’s amazing to see that these sober people who I put on pedestals when I first walked into those rooms are human and are truly just as fucked up as me. It goes to show, 97 days of sobriety and this disease will always be here, even when I am 97-years-old. Crazy.
I need to pray more.
I called my priest and asked him to 5th step me, he has not called me back yet.