I am watching Days of Wine And Roses. Fuck! I see myself in that movie. Crazy shit: fuck man. The scene where he is in such desperation for the bottle that he destroyed his father-in-laws greenhouse to find it. I was there, shit there were so many times I was there. I paused the movie and cried; I cried harder than I have in a very, very long time.
A friend of mine stopped by and told me that she had slept with her neighbor because his girlfriend made some nasty comments to her….. I told her I want her to be healthy and happy. She said some pretty shitty things to me. I know I upset her. I think I was very nice about it. I told her it’s not the right thing to do. She threw in my face that I pulled the same stunt years ago…and I did.
Years ago I was in a relationship with a man who was married. He took me out for drinks…that went on for a while. Yes, I slept with a married man because alcohol was provided, always and always. I am ashamed of myself.
Goddamn it, I’m sober.