I die now I will die sober

I’m sitting here, at a small table in a bony chair with a cigarette in my hand drinking coffee, listening to Queen and enjoying my day: my life, sober. I am on a business trip and I feel pretty damn good. I brought all of my things out to the ground-level patio that I have outside my sliding glass door.

I woke up singing “Don’t stop me now” by Queen….My anthem!

“Don’t stop me cause I’m havin’ such a good time, I’m havin’ a ball!”  Life is pretty good sober. I get scared saying things like that because I fear if things go south I wont cope well but that’s bull shit. Life is what it is and I can be sober while experiencing it.

Don’t stop me now…….life is going on and I have not taken a drink in 109 days.

Last night I was watching a major news station and Amy Winehouse’s death was the pinnacle of conversation. The subject line was the “27 club.” They listed the musicians that died at 27 due to alcohol and drugs: Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain and Jim Morrisson.

……. On April 8th  I was part of that club and intended to initiate myself into that sadly destructive life of eternal torment that I thought paralleled this world that I (once) lived in. Instead, on April 9th  I chose a path those people could not find. I pray I will continue to travel down this path, not alone but with God.

The location at which I am staying at is over 4 hours of a drive away from my home. I though a lot about my life, sobriety, alcoholism, my family and the goals that I can now accomplish for my future. I have already paid off 2/3 of the debt I have. Paying off debt is an amazing miracle in itself.

Here I am, 27, and if I die now I will die sober. This is an awesome thing.

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