It is done

Well we are over. I don’t recall a person breaking up with me…Well like my best friend told me (boohoo) and he is right. I feel sad? Not sure why I feel sad, I even asked him if we could try again. He was ruthless, I guess I deserve it.

I just got off the phone with him and I told him some not so nice things. I told him Fuck you and have a good life. Then I texted him apologizing for being so mean….Oh well, I can let it go now. He said that the way I hung up said it all. I told him, he saying we were done said it all. Oh well.

A sober relationship and a sober break-up, cool.

What did I learn, never date someone so damn young who does not know how to be with a woman and NEVER EVER show weakness. I think because I let him into my world (on a massive scale) I got attached… WOW. I need to focus on God…I put too much into a relationship that was bound to fail anyway.

He really is an awesome person and I do feel badly about what I said, ok no I don’t feel bad. You know what came to mind after I hung up??? Fuck that felt good and FUCK I am going to have to inventory this and I hope it does not turn out to be an amends. I said I was sorry through text but the sad thing is that I said other things with it. I was a bitch and I was too damn much drama.

Word of advice to future me……………..Don’t go so fucking fast and most importantly don’t open the door to a man about my life for a very long time…

It was fun sometimes while it lasted.

I love the comment he made this is not fun anymore. Well shit, at your age I don’t think any relationship would be fun unless a woman shuts the fuck up and puts up with shit.  He did put up with my shit too. Too much shit for such a short relationship. The great thing is I can move on….In fact I have. I get to see an old friend this Sunday that I have always loved. The problem is that he drinks but he is coming in from out-of-town so it will be nice to get a bear hug!!! We talk quite a few times a week and have for years (with the exception of when I was married) so it will be nice to be near a man who is a man and knows me, he is great.

I am looking forward to a great weekend. No drama on my part and a free sence of peace of being in a relationship I got so much slack for it drove me crazy. I think the shit I got for it was what made me even more insecure. What a pussy I was.

Any who, I have the house to myself tonight. It will be nice to work on crafts or something like that and enjoy my alone time!

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