Shit, I am acting like a friend of mine that I always thought was crazy when it came to relationships. I am dating this guy (a normie) who is nearly 8 years younger than me. I am like a goddamn teenager when it comes to him. He drives me crazy. I don’t know if he is doing these things on purpose or what. He is all there and then he pulls away. I want to fucking scream. I feel like I love this guy; do I?
This is the first relationship that I have been in since I got sober. Perhaps I don’t know what to fucking do given the fact that I don’t really remember a time being sober in a relationship. I met him at work….the job I quit a week ago. I fucked up and I feel they fucked me over, perhaps it turned out fair. All in all I needed to quit for the sake of my sobriety. I nearly drank, fuck I came close to drinking. Now this shit with my boyfriend…Am I done with this relationship? I think I might be. Maybe I am wrong or crazy or maybe it’s my age and I don’t want to fucking play game. When I am in-love I want to be with that person and when I am told that the other person is in-love with me, my thought is that you can’t be too clingy and talking and calling is a norm and it does not mean the person is needy. Perhaps I am needy…I don’t know. I fucked up last night and freaked out. I need to let this go, it is driving me crazy and I can’t do this to myself.