One Year

I made it one year, drink free. I was emotional all weekend, trying to remember to thank my higher power that I have made it this far. One year ago I tried to end me.

I have so fucking far to go… One Day At A Time- sometimes it’s fucking- One Second At A Time.

 

My cousin died of lupus today at 25. I took the day off.

I am thankful of the time she had with her daughter. I am so deeply saddened  for her brothers, daughter and her mother. She has been suffering for quite some time now. The beauty is that she is not suffering anymore. I know it sounds so cliché but I feel it’s true.

I ask my higher power to help me become a better person. I have been excited about my one year for the last few weeks. I remembered yesterday that I still had not made it to one year yet and alcohol is such a sneaky bitch I need to remember how awful drinking was and how painful early sobriety was. It was quite a few months of wanting to stop existing.

Not existing : NOW I want to exist

I am still here. I am trying. I am me.

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