A wonderful blog follower just reminded me: TAKE IT 5 MINUTES AT A TIME.
Funny how we forget that in recovery. Well that is where I am today.
My best-friend just asked me if I was okay. My reply, “I am right now.” Well, I am right now. A few hours ago, not so much. I went and got a pack of cigarettes. Fuck! I will not tell my family, they just don’t need to know.
I am off of my antidepressants and I feel good about it. At this time I don’t have health insurance and the price of the medication is outrageous. I started weening off of them two months ago knowing that I was not going to be able to get a refill. I have not had any withdraw from stopping them aside from the anxiety, which is agonizing sometimes.
I slept most of the day yesterday because I was in pretty shitty pain from the RA so I was up until 6:30am this morning, I just was not tired. I slept for a few hours this morning and then was ready to start the day. I got a lot of things done today. The most important thing I did was get some herbal readies at a vitamin shop for anxiety, I hope they help. The bad thing I did today, get a pack of cigarettes.
On the up side I have been writing a lot….for my stand-up. My writing circles events in my life. As I am a sarcastic and dark person I think it is turning out pretty damn well, slowly but surely. It helps to write. At times I have so much to write I can’t get it down on paper fast enough. The best comics are the most fucked up!
Well these last five minutes went well.