I’ll tell you what, since I stopped taking the medication my mind does seem to go a million miles a minute at times. I have been on anti-depressants since I was 17-years-old. Nearly 12 years has gone by with my brain relying on medication for severe depression and anxiety. I don’t know how to take myself right now…. Am I being healthy?
I feel much more passion for the things I love doing. I actually read a book, a whole fucking book and in one night. I have read before but only because I had to for school or work but the other night I read a 200 page novel while I was up all night with the man I was taking care of. I worked a 14 hour shift. Between moving him in different positions, feeding him, getting him ready for and in bed and changing his diaper I read. It is amazing how such a little accomplishment felt so awesome.
Back to my mind…At this point I feel this blog is not just about addiction but my mental health. This is a whole new journey, not taking medication. I am tired but I have so much I want to do.
I did not sleep but maybe 4 hours last night. I am suppose to get up in two hours, my sister is home and we are going to hang out. I will probably just stay up. After we spend some time together I am going to a training class at the rehab facility that my father is at so that when he gets home I know what he will need help with and how to help him. He was suppose to come home Sat. Because of the severe nerve damage in his legs he needs more rehab to learn how to walk. So, he will probably be sent to a new facility for another three weeks. I can’t say I am upset about him not coming home…..Another blog for that topic.
So on top of all the the addiction shit my mental health is part of this crazy journey I call my existence.