I guess the question is what now? I have no idea if I should see him or not.
I feel as though I need to stay away from him. I am here and I see there is great beauty that can be done outside of watching a man kill himself for an escape that leads to an endless pool of blue lips, lack of oxygen to the brain and a stubbornness that will put him in his grave.
My stepmom is a wonderful woman, I can’t pick up and leave here even though I want to so badly. I see that she can’t be abandoned even though the world of matrimony has.
This goes beyond he being my father or she as his wife, this is life and people who are suffering…but I don’t know what the hell to give. I guess at times like this just being close to my stepmom as she sees her husband to this is all I can do.
What a sad existence my father has experienced. He will probably be dead in a week.
I guess I just let him die and love those who live, even the geriatric people I take care of who want to die but are still living….