I am sitting in my car in a parking lot outside of McDonalds, blogging. It’s nearly 6pm here. I have a somewhat scenic look at a full tree with golden leaves just waiting for the slightest wind to release them. A train is near by and there are people of different ethnicities and color around me. I don’t feel alone even though I am alone.
My father is in detox . They say he should be out by Friday so I am taking the day off of work to pick him up. I would like to have quit smoking by Friday. He will then stay home for the weekend and if all goes well he will go to a 21-day-rehab. I told him I love him and I am behind him 100% because from my perspective he is on a great path.
I talked to my father about marijuana and perhaps trying it…I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing. I know he is in a lot of pain with having had two spinal fusions and degenerative disc disease, among the other problems I have blogged about. I need to think hard about ever mentioning it again to him because when he gets out of rehab he will be taught differently and I don’t want to taint his sobriety. This one is a tricky one….. What do you think?
I was suppose to work today…I went in and they booked two of us. I took the opportunity and decided to have a me night. I feel quite selfish because I have had a lot of me time lately. I ended up calling my step-mom and had a little evening planned but ended up lying to her and said I had to work. I have been lying to her a lot when it comes to my personal life and me time. I feel like if I give too much with my step-mom and dad I will get sucked into that world and quite frankly I want nothing to do with it.
Yes I am here in this state, living in their home but looking at this situation logically I feel like I need to focus on me; not them. I am 29-years-old. I feel I am on a major spiritual journey right now and if I get too close to them and their situation I lose sight of that. I will say this situation is a great too for learning balance. My balance is much different from theirs.