Quick Random Thoughts

I am sitting in my car in a parking lot outside of McDonalds, blogging. It’s nearly 6pm here. I have a somewhat scenic look at a full tree with golden leaves just waiting for the slightest wind to release them. A train is near by and there are people of different ethnicities and color around me. I don’t feel alone even though I am alone.

My father is in detox . They say he should be out by Friday so I am taking the day off of work to pick him up. I would like to have quit smoking by Friday. He will then stay home for the weekend and if all goes well he will go to a 21-day-rehab. I told him I love him and I am behind him 100% because from my perspective he is on a great path.

I talked to my father about marijuana and perhaps trying it…I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing. I know he is in a lot of pain with having had two spinal fusions and degenerative disc disease, among the other problems I have blogged about. I need to think hard about ever mentioning it again to him because when he gets out of rehab he will be taught differently and I don’t want to taint his sobriety. This one is a tricky one….. What do you think?

I was suppose to work today…I went in and they booked two of us. I took the opportunity and decided to have a me night. I feel quite selfish because I have had a lot of me time lately. I ended up calling my step-mom and had a little evening planned but ended up lying to her and said I had to work. I have been lying to her a lot when it comes to my personal life and me time. I feel like if I give too much with my step-mom and dad I will get sucked into that world and quite frankly I want nothing to do with it.

Yes I am here in this state, living in their home but looking at this situation logically I feel like I need to focus on me; not them. I am 29-years-old. I feel I am on a major spiritual journey right now and if I get too close to them and their situation I lose sight of that. I will say this situation is a great too for learning balance. My balance is much different from theirs.

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4 Responses to Quick Random Thoughts

  1. Sounds like you have your hands full, I don’t blame you for taking extra me time. You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else. That’s what they say anyway.

    I’m not actually sure about suggesting marijuana. If your dad is entering a rehab program, I’m sure he’ll have all sorts of guidelines and counselors etc. I’d probably just trust your instinct to let it go and not mention it; like you said, you don’t want to taint his sobriety in any way. It’s so tough though to see someone in physical pain.

    Keep looking out for you and stay focused on your journey…

  2. I just wanted to say that I hope the best for you and that I agree about taking time for yourself. It’s so important to tend to your own soul, especially while trying to help others. Guilt is such a heavy burden, try not to let it weigh you down. Wishing you peace and health.

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