X-Mas Day

One year ago today if you asked me if I would be sitting at my dad’s fathers kitchen table on Christmas day I would have told you, you are nuts. It blows my mind. I am now mentally shot. My step-mom was very depressed and on edge today. My little sister did okay. I missed dad today. It would have been nice to experience a Christmas with my father, in the flesh. My granddad has had a tad too much to drink tonight, he is pretty tipsy. He is a loving man…he has had a hard day, a father is not suppose to bury his son.

I tried to forget that my father is not here today. 

I am happy Christmas is over but I did enjoy my day.


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20 Responses to X-Mas Day

  1. Sorry you’re missing your Dad. xo

  2. 😦 Broke my heart to read this, i can’t imagine what your feeling. Hope you are able to cope better since the Holidays are almost over and all the tv special stuff isn’t in your face to remind you all the time. HUGS.

  3. Mia says:

    Yes, I am also so saddened by your lost. Yet, I am so glad that you were reconciled before his death.
    Much love

  4. Holidays can bring out the hardest memories. Try to remember the best of times you had with your father and forget the rest. Your memory of him keeps him alive in this world. Stay positive.

  5. robin claire says:

    Me too. I’m happy ~ oh so happy ~ that Christmas is at last over.

  6. Holidays just suck when you’re grieving. Mine was compounded; the six-month anniversary of his death was today. Ye gods, it’s been an emotional cheese grater kind of day. Let’s try again tomorrow, shall we?

    • Oh FumblingForLight, I am so sorry! I hope you have a peaceful day as you embark on your day. Take special care of yourself! I am sorry this last week was hard for you….I understand. HUGS!

      • Some days are better than others, as you know. But every day the sun comes up whether our lives have imploded or not, and that gives us a chance to try again. Consider it a celestial reset button.

  7. I think the holidays are always a little hard. My parents have been gone for a lot of years now, but I always miss them this time of year. I’m glad you were able to find some enjoyment in the day.

  8. skipmars says:

    I had dreams of my dad after he died. Of him walking down a wide dusty lane in the shade of huge oak trees, ambling towards a rather neat-looking barn. The gentle sound of barely audible conversation was like a background breeze — interrupted with occasional laughter. You will always have your memories of him. So, embrace him in those.

    I appreciate you choosing to follow my blog.

    • Thank you for stopping be and reading my blog sir. I really appreciate the comment and I am sorry for the loss of your father too. I hope you had a wonderful holiday and wish you many blessings this coming year!

  9. Grndma Chris says:

    I feel for you, I am closer to my dad than my mom and I can’t imagine what you are going through.

  10. cross(stitch)yourheart says:

    It’s always hard to enjoy the holidays when you’re missing a loved one, even if you’re happy about other things. I hope the new year brings you something to fill your life with a little more joy.

  11. It’s very true that the holidays can be difficult. Take care.

  12. emmock says:

    I think I know why you picked up my blog. A person very dear to me is alcoholic and still unable to admit how damaging it is. Although I very rarely refer to this in my blog, everythig I write is checked against her experience. I am moved and heartened by your story. May the next year bring you happiness.
    Mike (emmock)

    • Thank you Mike. I am sorry about your friend, I hope that she gets well. She is lucky to have a friend like you!!!

      Thank you for stopping and reading my blog. I hope you have a wonderful new year!

  13. Kathy says:

    I’m sorry you lost your dad. I understand how you feel. I celebrated my fifth Christmas without my mom and although I tried to appreciate my family, celebrate the day for my kids, inside it sucked for me. My mom was Christmas for me, she made it so special and now everything is different. I miss her everyday. Wishing you the best in 2013.

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