For now, this will do fine.

Part of the reason I don’t talk to many people about what is going on with me and my relationship to my step-mom is because we are all mourning the loss of my father and trying to cope in our own ways and I don’t want to make my step-mom look bad, she is suffering inside too.

My path in life has taught me to deal with things extremely differently than my step-mom and little sister.  The two of them have been through life together, they experienced my dad together ( good, bad and the ugly ugly), they have suffered greatly together and managed to keep a house going between the two of them. I feel that their relationship has an unhealthy dynamic to it. That being said, my relationship with my mother is completely dysfunctional, so who am I to judge? I guess I look at it like this, the two of them together are not healthy for me so I stay away when I can.

Back to my point. The above paragraph is merely my opinions and observations of what’s going on in my world, from my perspective. I am both an insider and an outsider. With the knowledge I carry and the world I live in there are not many people I can talk to. I don’t talk to many people on a regular basis about me and my life; what I like and don’t like…back home my life was filled with friends and family. I talk to my granddad at times but I am thankful I have you, my blog friends. I have the world out there that gives back to me in this way. For now, this will do fine.

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9 Responses to For now, this will do fine.

  1. waynemali says:

    You are always more than welcome, we are all here to support, I never quite know how to comment to some of your posts, but I like so you know I appreciate your situation.
    I for one will keep checking in, if you ever need someone to talk with, let me know.
    Wayne

  2. I was thinking this about your stepmom in a previous post you wrote but didn’t know how to respond tactfully or if i had the right to say anything in the first place. The post where you spoke about her disrespecting you and treating you differently and ordering you around… i think that is mostly her grief. Trying to gain some sort of control back by inflicting and controlling others. Just an observation from what you share here. It’s not an excuse though. I admire you strength and courage and positivity. And i’m happy to be part of your blog and read and respond. Thank you for being so open and honest and sharing with us. WIsh you the best!

  3. Mia says:

    The honor to be here for you to talk is all ours!
    Much love
    Mia

  4. I wanted you to know that I have nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. http://ichosetolive.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/very-inspiring-blogger-award-nomination/The link will lead you to the guidelines if you would like to participate. I wanted you to know that I think you are extremely brave to share such personal things with the world and for me, I believe that some people have the best chance to help another person by doing just that. So, thank you for inspiring me to continue to keep my blog raw and personal, and yes, sometimes painful. God Bless!

  5. The Hope Recovery Coach says:

    It is difficult to be positive in a downstream world. It is also difficult to live a life of significance when we are surrounded by folks who are just intent on surviving. I have just “met” you today because you checked out my new blog, but based upon what I have read and how others have interacted with you in the virtual world, you strike me as a person who genuinely wants to be authentic and to be surrounded by others who are equally authentic. Attracting authentic people into our lives, people who will meet us beyond the virtual world takes a lot of courage. Again you strike me as a courageous person so I hope you will do everything in your power to avoid going into isolation. The easiest way for people pursuing a life of significance, of creating a life worth living, to get taken out, is to go into isolation. You appear to be a bright light in a very dark world, so surround yourself with others who want that light to shine.

    • Thank you Coach! What beautiful encouragement you have given me. I think school is going to help me with discovering more authentic people put here. I wish you well friend, thank you for reaching out to me!

  6. Hello. I am new to your blog, and thank you for visiting mine. Since I started my blog a few months ago, I have been surprised how much the comments and discussion have helped me, also. It was unexpected. I attended Al-Anon (including some favorivete combined Al-Anon/AA and open AA meetings), more when I lived in a larger city. I find the same “take what you need and leave the rest” opportunity here in the blog world, and the beauty of selected comments that stay with me and are healing to the core. I applaud your sobriety and will be visiting again. Thanks for sharing – I’m hearing from so many how healing that is for all.

    Blessings!

    Diane

  7. Hello! First of all I want to thank you for visiting my blog as well. I’ve read through a lot of your entries and I’ve felt the same way that you are experiencing: tendency to not talk to anyone, anxiety and frustration too especially after the death of my grandfather. I’m not sure if I can help but I’m happy that you also have a ray of hope in one of your blog entries and it’s a way to go. It can also help that you take inventory of what good is happening to your life right now. You know sometimes it is so easy for us to take a look at not so good points in our life that we take for granted the good things we have. This will all soon pass and if you don’t want me to quote from any book, let me ask you to pray to God and know His Son Jesus Christ who has provided us with more than enough of what we need in this lifetime. Who knows you can use all you’ve experienced to help a person in the future also feeling the same way you are right now. I’ll also pray for a blessed and bright future ahead of you and God’s promises be fulfilled in your life. =)

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