I prayed the other day, out loud in my car. I said, “God, if you are here give me the strength I need.”
I don’t know if it helped but I do feel more at peace. Like I wrote in a previous blog, the depression is no longer a part of me right now. When I wake up I get to my day, accomplish things successfully for the most part and can sleep at night.
I am excited for my future again. I questioned if I would ever feel a real zeal to live after my father died but it’s back. I felt excited today and I let myself feel love. I participated in class and I thoroughly enjoyed my time alone in the car. I felt sad writing a speech for class about my father but excited he gave me school to be a platform for me to grow. I am thankful for my step-mom in fulfilling her promise to use some of the money she got from my fathers death to send me back to school to get my education. I enjoyed my meals and most importantly, I laughed out loud today. My laughter took me over like a be in a cotton candy machine; tears of joy welded up from the corner of my eyes as I gasped for air in between trying to hold my composure as I laughed. I mean…..I laughed.