I laughed

I prayed the other day, out loud in my car. I said, “God, if you are here give me the strength I need.”

I don’t know if it helped but I do feel more at peace. Like I wrote in a previous blog, the depression is no longer a part of me right now. When I wake up I get to my day, accomplish things successfully for the most part and can sleep at night.

I am excited for my future again. I questioned if I would ever feel a real zeal to live after my father died but it’s back. I felt excited today and I let myself feel love. I participated in class and I thoroughly enjoyed my time alone in the car. I felt sad writing a speech for class about my father but excited he gave me school to be a platform for me to grow. I am thankful for my step-mom in fulfilling her promise to use some of the money she got from my fathers death to send me back to school to get my education. I enjoyed my meals and most importantly, I laughed out loud today. My laughter took me over like a be in a cotton candy machine; tears of joy welded up from the corner of my eyes as I gasped for air in between trying to hold my composure as I laughed. I mean…..I laughed.

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This entry was posted in abuse, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, child abuse, childabuse, college, dad, death, happy, hope, Laugh, life, loss, love, sadness, sexual abuse, spirituality, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to I laughed

  1. laughing is the best, i’m happy for you xo

  2. Joel says:

    I’m glad you were able to laugh. I believe laughter helps us heal. Blessings to you.

  3. splitspeak says:

    God listens. Lovely to meet you and we wish you all the very best!

  4. May your heart heal with the laughter.

  5. My sobriety date is 4-28-93, here to listen, just keep on keeping on, writing is a great outlet,
    it allows one to see into their heart and soul.
    Laughter is the music of the soul. Most people, especially drunks, hear with their ears and brain, no soul attached. In recovery, we relocate our souls and laughter is usually the best medicine.
    Smile, it makes people wonder what you are up to.
    Love, hugs and prayers…ME and the Boss
    http://asadrunkseesit.blogspot.com/ https://michaelerb.wordpress.com/

  6. I found blogging shortly after winning the battle against depression…and I have also found so many friends that care and I hope too that others can see that there is an end to depression possible …some need to continue medication for clinical reasons…but I was finally able to discontinue them in my case …Laughter feels good when it has been so hard to do so…I found that to be true also…Diane

  7. E says:

    I just wanted to say that I’m so glad you had a laugh. I know I don’t know you, but you checked out my blog so I wanted to check out yours. I have been naturally gravitating toward things that make me laugh recently (and sharing them on my blog). Even a few days ago I had a crying, silent, gut laugh over a story I read. It was wonderful. That feeling is just…wonderful. The way you expressed it, “..I laughed,” was right where I am and have been before. Not many people understand the gravity of that statement. I hope you’ll have something to laugh at today, even a snicker or a giggle, if not an uproariously loud guffaw.

    • Hi E! I did have an “uproariously loud guffaw” today! It is getting better and better.

      Thank you for reading my blog, I very much enjoy yours. MOST IMPORTANTLY, thank you for understanding the gravity of my statement, you got it!

      I wish you all the best and many laughs!

  8. abitjuakali says:

    laughter is beautiful. You are on the right track – God will hold you in His arms, safer than anything else on this earth. I will pray for peace to carry you forwards in hope.

  9. Keep laughing, lostcompanion. God is there and He loves you more than you can get your head around. I promise. Peace, Wendie

  10. Dave Malnes says:

    Sarah laughed out of joy when she heard the news of a son that must have ended decades of sadness. Thanks for sharing your spirit.

  11. I am glad you are laughing. See? you prayed and God responded specific to your need at the moment. May I share with you that sometimes prayers don’t change our circumstance but it changes our hearts and the way we view life and God. Our problems may not be solved instantly when we pray, but in praying we develop an intimate relationship with God allowing us to know Him more so our faith increases and for God to manifest His love and His willingness and readiness to help us. That holy laugh is what gives us strength and hope. 🙂

  12. So glad you can laugh again and so sorry about your father.

  13. I pray in my car every morning. I pray in my prayer blog, which you’ve been following. Your honesty in your blog is touching and I appreciate you allowing us to have insight into your journey. And I love the colors that are together on your side borders!

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