The Misfit

Last night I went out with my granddad, his wife and her niece. We went to an amazing seafood restaurant and they all got drinks. I sat there, ordered a water with lemon and felt like a misfit.  I didn’t feel left out by them it was merely the situation. That feeling did not last long but it was very strong and overwhelming.

As they ordered their drinks I thought back to what it was like when I drank: hell. All three of them were able to have a drink a piece and that was it; after all this time I still can’t believe it when I see others just having one drink and that’s it.

I was frustrated with myself sitting there, I wanted to drink l. I wanted to take part in the wine tasting but I couldn’t. I couldn’t because I know the destruction alcohol brings to my life.

 

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43 Responses to The Misfit

  1. deanabo says:

    I can imagine how hard that was. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Hawkruh says:

    You did what you needed to. I probably shouldn’t drink, but do. I don’t think it helps me and can aggravate my emotional instability and self harming tendencies. I’m glad you witheld. Hugs. Are we like the misfit dogs that are given up – but once taken in can become the best of companions?

  3. I completely understand!! I’ve recently went through a similar situation where I just wanted to feel “normal”. Imagine that?!?! There it was – the insanity that proceeds the first drink! What would ever make me forget that there was nothing ” normal” in the way I drank. Haha so glad you made it through. Love reading your blog! Keeping it real!! Namaste!!

  4. how strong are you too resist! way to go!

  5. Julia says:

    I am proud of you for not joining in the drinking. One of many reasons I never drink is because I know so many people who can’t take even one drink and I am with them in spirit, so happy that they have decided to give it up, and I want to encourage them all the way. Wish you were nearby so we could have a lovely cup ot TEA together (that’s my own addiction…) Best wishes to you as you add more and more days of sobriety to your admirable collection…

  6. James says:

    Sometimes being different is a good thing. Go with it.

  7. I have a friend who sometimes takes a few drinks (she only started drinking a little while ago). When she does she’s totally different – and in that I mean in a very bad way. This week we discussed it as she becomes very aggressive when she drinks and people are noticing. Her comment to me was that she felt she should keep away from alcohol because it turns her into something she is not. I was amazed at how she was able admit to the change and at least consider taking the step because I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be on a social level. You are doing great! Keep it up. 🙂

  8. Hi, thanks for checking out my blog. I enjoy yours as well! Alcohol abuse has brought such pain into my life through people I love, and I find a lot of comfort in knowing that there are people out there who do overcome it and find life to be worth fighting for. Thanks for sharing your journey!

  9. But you didn’t, and that’s the point. Be good to yourself. You conquered something many cannot, temptation.

  10. It’s something that others should at least think about before drinking in front of someone who has a problem with alcohol… If the person has said previously that it’s okay…that it doesn’t affect them then perhaps I could see them ordering drinks…but I feel that they perhaps should have not done so really, if there was a chance it could be a temptation to you… I know somewhat because of my brother’s situation when he stopped drinking. ….But you did a very difficult thing and stood your ground….Good for you!…Diane

  11. It is to resist especially when something is a habit and part of socialising with your inner circle. You did good. keep it up. Fight the demon.

  12. drizleslator says:

    I felt left out the first time I went out to eat with MyGuy and Bro, soon after becoming sober. My solution was to have a special drink for myself—a mixed drink sans alcohol. Not juice or just water, but something like mango and soda or ginger ale. You could even ask for it in a wine glass.

  13. Texas Heat says:

    I enjoy your blog. I especially admire your ability to bare your soul so publicly. I have my own demons and I believe just writing about them would help me greatly. Alas, I’m a coward. I don’t think anyone would care. Indeed, I might be mocked. So sad.

    • You are not a coward….People do care, reach out…that’s what I did. No mocking involved- not from me. Let me know when you have something you would like read from someone with an open heart, I am here friend. Thank you for reading my blog!

  14. needawitness says:

    You showed so much strength in that situation. Congratulations and well done

  15. Aewl says:

    Oh yeah, those feelings come and go. Thankfully as time passes, it happens less and less. What still gets me riled up a bit is to watch some order a drink and then only drink half of it. To this day I still have a hard time leaving a coke, water,tea or coffee without completely finishing it.

    As far as those that said people shouldn’t drink in front of you, I say hogwash. It’s not their problem and when you feel you can’t handle it, then you can always get up and leave. I have left many times in my early sobriety.

  16. debcorreia says:

    I have nominated you for the VERY INSPIRING BLOGGER AWARD! Please click on the link to accept this award and check out the rules. CONGRATULATIONS!!
    http://debcorreia.wordpress.com

  17. Ricari says:

    At least you have the strength to realise that you had a problem. It may be hard but it proves your character

  18. I hope you realize how very strong you really are… you’ve got MOXIE!!! 🙂

  19. ladylazarus says:

    You may not always feel like this. It’s been 7 years since I was in treatment for alcohol dependency, and I can now quite easily have just one drink. I still need to be careful to track my drinking and make sure I’m not going into risky territory, but I now actually enjoy alcohol for the tastes, rather than the oblivion it would bring me.

  20. Morbid Insanity says:

    That’s a great attitude! It proves you are strong. Don’t forget it! 😉

  21. I like the title…i relate to it sometimes…
    you are strong for going through a situation like that.. 🙂

  22. jlee5879 says:

    SO proud of you! 😀

  23. literaryyogi says:

    You did the right thing. We all have vices that we let get the better of us. You seem like you’re on a very good path right now. Keep it up.

  24. What a trial! Maybe you’ll get more comfortable in social settings as time goes by. If it makes you uncomfortable maybe you could ask your friends before hand if they might refrain from drinking in your presence because you find it difficult right now.

  25. Great effort, insight and courage on your behalf! I do admire your resolve and think that often the strength needed does not get appreciated by many. Thank you for dropping by on my blog, I hope some of the stuff will make a difference for you 🙂

  26. debcorreia says:

    Kudos to you for staying your ground and not giving in only to have something hanging over you that you might regret later. That is the first step. The next step comes in not feeling like a misfit but allowing yourself to zero in on moments that go beyond what’s in everyone’s container. Zero in on the environment and those in it. Admire someone’s smile, eyes, hair style. Be mindful of moments and in so doing you will be focused less on being the “misfit” as you say. I am sure there were more similar moments than the hugely obvious misfit moment. You will be fine. 🙂

  27. EvieJo says:

    It is such a blessing for you that you realize your limits…

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