I am here.

I am doing well. I am in a good place. I am well fed. I am getting the mental help I need; I got back on my antidepressant and am seeing a therapist once a week (for the last few months it was twice a week.) I am working on a plan to get more independent. I am doing well in school- learned a lot. I am still feeling joy towards getting my degree. I will need to move on from the cute old people I take care of soon; I need to find a new job. I am stronger. I am feeling a bit more optimistic. I think I am becoming less selfish. I will always believe and support my brother. I am working on the sexual abuse in therapy…it’s tough. I am two years sober. I am really starting to like the area I live in. I get to go back to Denver in a few weeks to visit. The plan is I’m taking classes this summer. I am complaining less when the RA flares up. I am strong. I thrive. I am not a victim. I am triumphant. I am not depressed. I can handle stress. I can keep going….

This entry was posted in abuse, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, child abuse, childabuse, college, dad, death, forgivness, happy, hope, ife, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to I am here.

  1. Hala J. says:

    Keep going strong! You’ll make it, and I’m so happy to hear you’re doing better : )

  2. naplak says:

    Just keep moving forward.

  3. jackiewriting says:

    Yes! 🙂

  4. Well, congratulations on all counts to you!! This is great news!

  5. Tami says:

    Keep up the Great Work!

  6. Wade Webster says:

    You are strong! You’re getting stronger with each step you take. Stay focused on the future. Remember our prayers are holding you up. Keep fighting for love.

  7. I’m so glad things are looking brighter and you definitely sound a lot stronger…Diane

  8. I’m so glad you “are here” I have read a few of your posts and identify with you very storngly at this moment in my soberity. We have a lot in common. My birthday is Feb 18. Funny right? I’ve been sober almost 7 months and now I too am asking myself (like you were) what is the point? I feel hopeless and despair much of the time. Sadness or anger. I’ve been on an antidepressant for 10 years and recently changed prescriptions. I’m hoping to feel some relief from this suffering. But I want to share with you a few thoughts that have helped me push through my despair and realize that hope is possible: Psalm 23 (one of my blogs the day I entered treatment) is a wonderful mantra to repeat; this, by Emily Dickinson:
    “Hope” is the thing with feathers –
    That perches in the soul –
    And sings the tune without the words –
    And never stops – at all –

    This too, was printed in a memoir I read “Lit” by Mary Karr a recovering alcoholic, and shocked me into awe of my higher power, “Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me, but I was not with you. Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would have not been at all. You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed your fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me, and I burned for your peace.”
    from The Confessions of Saint Augustine

    When I feel down and depression sucks the life out of me, I read and write. And these have helped me. I am glad you were here today. And I have hope for you…because I have hope for me.

    • Thank you. This was a beautiful comment you left me. I appreciate your wonderful works of support and the empathy you share.

      I am so excited you have gone 7-months, keep going!!! How are you staying sober? I recently started going back to AA once a week, on Tuesday nights. It helps me remember why I don’t drink. I wish I could give you a big hug. WE will get there. Like you said, ” I have hope for you … because you have hope for me.” and my reply to that, right back at ya!

  9. zalev1 says:

    AWESOME!!! Good for you, keep moving forward. Keep up the good work! Be proud of what you have accomplished!

  10. So good to read this, I read a lot of trust and confidence in your words, and strength! Keep it up, we are with you!

  11. One day at a time, you will see the world as it is meant to be for you to live in. Congratulations on your achievements to date.

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