I miss something of my father. I am in a blue phase in my life. I ended a relationship with a wonderful man because of the shit I am going through…emotionally, mentally and physically.
I need to feel secure in this world and all security is lost. I want to trust but trust faded a long time ago.
I am going to see the older couple I took care of, it will be nice to be close to them and see how things are going. I worry about the outcome of some of the things that happened after I left the couple I worked with. Their daughter who said I was part of the family and loved me and always texted me back never responded to a question I asked her. I can let that go… I said I would do certain things before I left, like leave an itinerary for our daily activity and then I decided I wouldn’t and didn’t do it. I look at it like this, they can make their own way.
I will text their daughter tomorrow night and ask if it will be okay if I stop by and say hi to her parents.
My boyfriend responded to what I sent him earlier today; which I explained and included in the previous post: I just got your messages. I guess I’m ok. The past few days have been pretty emotional and exhausting. I hope you’re ok. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I wasn’t there for you. I do miss you. I’m sorry I haven’t tried to talk to you about it. I feel like I’m in shock from all that happened lately and I need time to clear my head. But we should talk soon.