Life is interesting. Things have drastically changed for me. I no longer feel trapped. I am very blessed.
I see the importance in knowing my strengths and perhaps knowing my weaknesses better.
The RA has gotten worse but the season is changing, on to Spring!
I have a beautiful relationship with my stepmom, going to the house where my dad died sucks.
My job is very cool.
I am in love with a man that fulfills needs that I didn’t even know I had, just simply due to the fact that I know he loves me too, yet I don’t think he can protect me the way I need to be protected, which does not always mean physical protection. I stretch him to the max just with the little time he can give me….not his or anyone’s fault….it’s life. I want to help him in some ways but I can’t. I want him to know my story but if I told him he would not believe me and at that, I don’t think he wants to know.
I turned 30 a few weeks ago…freaked me out but I got through it. I feel like either my artistic ability will end by the time I am 60 or the illness will have taken me. This is according to my plan and we all know life’s what happens when you are making other plans. I can deal. On a lighter note, I got to hear my beautiful nephews voice on my birthday, best gift I received.
I am coming close to 3 years of sobriety: April 9th. As I look back I see a crazy life I want no part of. It has just been the last year of my life that I have felt sober and on the road to success in being the strongest person I know.
I have learned that I am a teacher, a giver, kind and unconditional. The death of my father completely changed me. I am not the same person I was before he died. After his death, the thought of living scared me but through time and therapy and tests of character, I am now free; free in a way that can’t be put into words. I am thankful for the experiences I have had, it’s made me who I am…but I don’t ever want to go back.