Old Love

I am reminded of something I wrote in an older post, “My thinking was that if I feel alone now and long to be near him and he’s not there and does not want to be, why do I keep putting myself in that same situation with him.”….I keep doing that to myself with LC.

I loved my exboyfriend, I wanted to date him for months before we got together. I broke up with him for many reasons but the main reason being that we are on two different paths and not compatible. He was much farther along in his being “in love” than I was.

I am so independent that men who value that seem to think I never need them and that’s just not the case. I don’t know how to be any other way but me.

My exboyfriend sent me an email lately expressing his concerns on me moving and my relationship with a musual friend. He really upset me. I was going to call him right after I read his email but took some time to think. He is a simple person, intelligent but simple. My response was on FB….I told him to embrace change…. this was our conversation via messaging…

Him: So you’re saying you are all about change? I don’t think I’m getting what that was supposed to mean.

Me: It means I don’t run, I protect myself from unhealthy people and I am always open to change….perhaps change is something you should embrace every once in a while.

Me: You did not upset me with your email, you just have no idea what is going on…like with my grandparents for example. If you only knew them, you would understand.

Him: You view it very differently than I do. I’ve said all I’m going to say about it. Good luck with whatever u decide.

And that is how it was left. I have no feelings for him as far as a relationship goes. He is a beautiful man but not for me. I cringed a little bit when he used the word view, he did not view anything.  I am proud of how I handled myself. I always want to be able to walk away from something with my head held high, even if I want to burst inside.

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2 Responses to Old Love

  1. HMNBEING says:

    I like how you write. It’s honest and rough and I don’t mean that in a negative way.

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