I didn’t sleep well last night. I have a lot on my mind. I am contemplating dropping my online class…
School is the most important aspect of my life but now that I am living on my own again (and sober for the first time), I realize being in school fulltime is pushing it when supporting myself. I also have a hard time focusing on my online class. I took the class because I thought I was going to be in a healthy environment where I live to focus and I am not. A routine was short-lived. I have to hideaway from my own place, I feel off balance. I guess life is like that, I can not expect to always have balance.
I needed a solid night sleep for my body and I didn’t get it, I feel off track today. I can channel my energy and be productive. My art classes fill my cup for the most part. I was excited for my teacher this semester but I am not getting out of the class what I am putting in it. Because I can grasp the concepts, the teacher teaches the class and leaves it to me to explain to the students what to do; it takes me away from my focus at times. I end up needing to do my work at home and right now that is not an option. I can not let the imbalance I feel inside be a reflection through my intent. I can turn this around.
I woke up this morning and checked FB, the CEO of one of the big companies I use to work for asked me if I am looking for a job. I worked my way up in that company and made a lot of money doing what I was doing but I was not passionate about it. Perhaps he has a business venture outside of that industry he would like to chat with me about? I’ll call him later today and see what’s on his mind. I am no longer in Colorado so I don’t expect anything to come of it. I am thankful after all this time I made such an impression. He became a good friend, a confidant. He taught me a lot about equating with those who work under them.
I learned a lot about leadership from some of the greats I have worked with. Leadership is two things: You teach and lead by example.
I hate money, I hate what is does to people and I hate the expectations that come with it. I want to make more money so that I can live in a safer place, that’s it.
I asked my friend if I could live with her for the next month or two so that I can focus on getting through school; she and her husband gladly said yes! If I stay with her I can save more money and have a stable place to be while I am in waiting. I am so thankful for unconditionally loving people.
With that being said, I am going to walk in my house, shower, grab my art things and go to school. If the place is torn up, I can let it go. After school I will pack up the kitchen so that he does not destroy any more of my things. Get out of the problem and into the solution! I can do this, the weather is changing so I have more physical energy. February 27th, here I come 🙂