I am very frustrated with some things in my life right now. It’s hard to let go and accept that I have to be in waiting. My roommate is taking over the house that I am going to move out of soon. I know the problem is his ego. I also know that I could really make his life hell in knowing that but I choose to be passive. There may come a time when being passive stops working but for my sanity, I need to be. I feel very detached from everything I own at that house, which helps. I’ve been very protective of my possessions over the last few months but now I feel free. The possessions that I own that are worth any real monetary value are not there. Everything else is just stuff. Yes, if it gets destroyed and/or stolen, I am going to be upset but I am letting go so it does not have a hold over me. Everything can be replaced, my sanity can’t. I am thankful for good people around me that care and guide. I will be okay.
I know that I am a very blessed individual and I keep telling myself, this is temporary.
I am thankful I have the job I do. The people I work with are great but I need to make a change for myself financially within the next month or two. I’ve got to be able to afford to live in a safer area. I found a place in the area that I have wanted to live in since I moved to this city a year ago. The rent is just over half a month’s pay, which would really be pushing it. I learned that your cost of housing (rent) should not exceed one third of your monthly income….so that might be tough. I know a young gal that lives in that complex and feels safe there. Plus, it’s close to downtown! We shall see. . . I am in waiting.
I realize I may be getting sick (I truly think it’s just allergies) and I kissed LC. It was just a peck but given his situation, the last thing I want to do is get him sick and upset him. I really just wanted a hug but being close to his neck and smelling him turned me on, so I went for a kiss. It was beautiful but I need to be more aware. I’ll work on that.
This morning LC posted a picture on my FB timeline of the Denver City skyline, the moon and Venus. It made my day. I don’t know how to express my sheer gratitude for things like that that he does for me, I just smiled at him and told him how beautiful it was.
School tomorrow, I am ready. My day of rest on Tuesday really helped get my mind back on track. I feel guilty that I am not working on my arts but this is what I do this time of year. My body feels youthful, so I go outside more and enjoy being active. I still do my work but it slows down. I hibernate in the Fall and Winter.
I am lucky to have the outlets and the friendships I have that rejuvenate me.