I keep thinking about my father and who he was. As the medication helps me think clearer my flashbacks feel rapid.
There was a man named Charles that I met in AA. He seemed like a good man; came to the house to help us with handy man things. My father had been talking about selling a red bronco and that he was going to sell it to his friend Charles. Charles came over one day and we did a bill of sale for the car, that he said his son earned $500 for the bill of sale. The car needed work but was sold under it’s value. Charles was seen a few times after that but I have not seen him in a year and a half. As my meds work, I remember that I said to Charles that he looked like a sketch of someone I saw in the post office. He laughed and said something about how they all look alike. My father and he remained friends until he died. I thought nothing of it but now I think I should have reported it. My father said he knew Charles for 5 years and that they were AA buddies. As I look back and see my father for who he was, I see something more could have been going on. In the violation I have felt in life I am breaking everything down so much it keeps my attention. I need to let this go. I have learned to trust my instincts more.
God, help me apply this lesson and let go of the fact that I was completely fooled by my flesh and blood. My heart hurts.