“If I can be an example of getting sober, then I can be an example of starting over.”

I’m three years sober today. This morning was the first day in a while that I felt pure joy. I called those close to me and thanked them, I celebrated. I feel proud that I made it this far. When I was working the AA program, I was told that it can take a year and a half for liquor to fully get out of your system and three years of sobriety is when you can think clearly. I am here. I am listening. I am close to my God.

I was made to drink by my step father for five years from the age of 7 to 12. My first “adult drunk” was 16. I started drinking alcoholically when I was 21. I drank hard until I was 28. I learned quickly in AA and ran with it. I saw the possibilities in sobriety but knew it was going to be hard. Three years ago last night I tried to kill myself with Xanax and tequila. I survived and detoxed in my grandparents basement, embracing AA with everything I had. I stayed completely clean for 9 months; started smoking weed. That’s my story. I am sober and proud I have made it this far. One day at a time.

On my one year of sobriety I got a tattoo, “DO NOT FEAR”. I am proud of my tattoo, it’s a daily affirmation. Will I regret it someday? I hope not. It’s my one year chip. I didn’t want to wear the coin around my neck all the time. Not everyone needs to know I am in recovery. It’s personal and I share it with those it may help. I try to just be an example. My tattoo has helped me. It has also been an aid in changing others views on the idea. A tattoo can have meaning, mine does. My good friend did it, a true artist, my  sweet Phin. I chose “DO NOT FEAR” for many reasons. All the good leaders spoke of not being afraid. Fear separates us from love. Fear is blinding. Fear leads to a mental break down. I also didn’t think I was going to survive a year of not drinking and I always wanted a tattoo. The first year of sobriety I thought about what it was that drinking did for me and it was cover up the fear. I drank out of fear.

Three years is a long time without a drink.

I wanted to drink recently but I didn’t. I am still an alcoholic and live with that daily but everyday it gets less intense. I am strong. I was given a lot of good tools in life to cope.

I may go to a meeting to pic up a three year chip, we shall see. I am celebrating with a lovely meal and my Golden Gal.

“If I can be an example of getting sober, then I can be an example of starting over.”

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27 Responses to “If I can be an example of getting sober, then I can be an example of starting over.”

  1. I’m so happy for how far you’ve come and your positive attitude… I’d go get your three year chip.. It’s a ‘milestone’ in your life… a very important milestone… Diane

  2. Wade Webster says:

    Three years is HUGE! Celebrate it well. Get the chip and remember it’s still a one-day-at-a-time ordeal.
    DO NOT FEAR
    You’re a winner.

  3. realeyezlife says:

    CONGRATS yo 🙂 I’m 5 years clean now…happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life…keep up the good work!! Every morning before I start my day, I read page 449 of the big book (I have the old version) “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism , I could not stay sober, unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me an my attitudes…”

  4. Congratulations on your Commitment to yourSELF. i am a Stranger- and i am PROUD of You! your sharing has brought to mind three quotes i’ve kept for my own- the 1st being, “Don’t Panic!” from Douglas Addam’s HitchHiker’s Guide To The Galaxy; “Fear is the Little Death” from Dune; and “No matter where you go- There you are”, by Buckaroo Banzai. i think it’s pretty clear where my Philosophy lies… 😉
    don’t forget the Golden Oldie from MY youth: “Hang in there, Baby!”

    i’m going thru a really bad time right now, so i don’t see how following my blog can give you any comfort or support for your journey. i can always give you a “Shout!” when i’ve found my ‘clear trail’ again and give you a better example of my writing style than what you’re gonna see right now… jus’ sayin’….

    i’m kinda nervous about dragging others down into my Darkness, if they should stumble upon me at this time, but i can’t NOT blog, as it has been my only access to other human beings for quite awhile now. i still Fear fading into Invisibility at this time.

    i’m only going to hit ‘post’ cuz 1) im grateful for the follow 2) YOU ARE MY 150TH FOLLOWER AND I WILL WEAR IT LIKE AN HONOURED BADGE 3) i wanted to say ‘hi’ and i like your blog 😉

    • 150th, that’s awesome!!!!!!!!! Thank you for reading my blog friend. I know life is hard, we can get through this. It’s sometimes the hurt that others go through that give others strength. We have to learn from one another. I learn from you, just keep going. I know what it’s like to FEAR fading into invisibility…we will get through this. I know I will because through you I know I am not alone. Feeling alone is the worst part of life to me.

      Thank you for the quotes, I love it! I needed that today. Thank you for being proud of me, I feel that energy. As for you being nervous about dragging others down, don’t be. Blogging is a great tool because we can get out what is in. If others read it and respond, great. If someone passes it by, oh well, you’ll never know. And if someone does not like what you have to say, they can move on or comment. We have the choice to respond and accept or except what others say. This is our forum. This is our way of shouting our voice. You have a voice. Keep writing. It’s healing most of all. I am here friend. Write to me anytime!

      One of my favorite quotes, “Just keep swimming!” – Finding Nemo

  5. Many congratulations!!!! 3 years is amazing!!!!!!

  6. activearmywife says:

    Awesome! Congratulations. 🙂

  7. lowestlo says:

    Congrats on three years sober. What an accomplishment. I am on day 3 of my journey and have already struggled with wanting a glass of wine to calm my nerves.. It’s inspirational to see others who have long since passed the point I am at now and happier than ever.

  8. Your story is so inspiring! I love the tattoo. I’d like to share some words from Rabbi Nachman of Breslev, Poland, who lived in the 18th century and died very young of tuberculosis, but not without leaving us a great legacy of wisdom:

    “The whole world is a very narrow bridge
    And the main thing to remember
    Is to have no fear at all.”

    May the Lord bless and keep you on your journey.

    Laura

  9. Congratulations on your sobriety, as a fellow non drinker it’s amazing how better you feel day to day so keep going. You’ve got to constantly weigh up the pros and cons of alcohol… for me there are zero pros and far too many cons to count

  10. ildestino1 says:

    okaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy my Dad is alcoholic and I’m an alanonic . . . so
    I need to find a copy of the big book. thank you for reading my blog and being interested in the effects of this disease on families!

  11. elainer2013 says:

    Congrats on your 3 years – time passes fast I know as it has been 23 years for me.

  12. I realize I am late to this, but congratulations! And the title, I want to thank you for bringing that quote to light at this moment I have come across this post. I fell in love with this song and immediately began despising my drinking. The years of pretending I wasn’t as bad as others may have mentioned was overshadowed by a song I listened on repeat and heard such conviction and strength and humility in. That song shed light on my style of living and allowed me to so make it to where I am today. No, the song didn’t save me, it was a few months after that I found myself in the front seat of a totaled car, but it will forever have a spot in the beginning of the end of a life I refuse to go back to. Thank you for the experience you share here. I will surely be back ☺

    • Thank you my friend, this song gave me a lot of insight and hope too. I was just turning three when I heard it. Thank you for reading my blog, I appreciate you! Blessings to you!

  13. “if you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Continue to walk by faith!

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